I hope this homesickness passes. It does for the most part. I'm better than I was yesterday. But I just keep having moments. I'll get in a really weird funk and then miss everyone from home.
Apparently four months is quite a bit of time. Who knew?
It's just this feeling of missing out. Which is weird because I'm in this totally amazing city in a beautiful country. But I also can't share this with the people I love. That's hurting.
I think I'll feel better when people have definite plans to visit. My mom is still looking for flights.
I'm afraid that when I come back everyone will be reliving some great joke that I'm left out of. Or I'll change. Or they'll change. Or everyone will grow in different directions. But all of these fears seem incredibly blown up when I stand back and look at them.
I have to stop thinking about it. While four months is a long time, it can also be a really short time. And I have to make the most of it.
I talked to Kelly earlier and she said she was feeling the same way. We're thinking about planning bigger trips (like to England or Scotland or the other side of Ireland) every three weeks. It'll make the time go by faster but we'll also be experiencing the rest of the world.
I don't have class tomorrow. If it's not raining, I think I'm going to go out and explore with my camera.
I do feel good about this.
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Hon, I've felt this way for the last 10 months and have another 26 to go =( I know exactly how you feel. Try your best to enjoy it. I keep telling myself I'll start enjoying everything next year but if I keep doing that we'll be gone before we even realize and then I'll kick myself for not appreciating what I had. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteSugar, you'll be ok. You'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, it's gonna hurt sometimes.
As a vetran of severla sojourns of several weeks to several months abroad, my experience is that first of all, you actually get used, after a while, to being gone. You make more and more emotional ocntact to where you are. And indeed, it's nice to see people and get letters, but the days get filled up with the new things.
Though the need for AMericna foods of whatever sort you loved most -- that'll get pretty strong.
And indee,d the world will go on without you, and things will happen without you, and you'l happen without the people you love.
and it will be ok.
And later, for the rest of your life, what happens during this time away will be a touchstone, in terms of time, and growth, and construction of self.
It's GREAT that you have the blog!
very smart.
Hang in there. And watch tv. You'll miss it, later.
much love, Anne, aka Dr. Brannen
Oh my dear Rachel how I love you. Don't worry. Nothing all that magnificent is happening here.
ReplyDeleteAnd in response to your last post, it totes is amazing how much work gets done when you don't have the internet. I mean, if I didn't have the internet right now I'd be reading Hawthorne for Dr. Newberry. Not having internet during finals week last semester sounds horrific, but it saved my life I think.
I am so excited to hear about your world travels!
Hearts, hearts, so many hearts!
Oh, my sweet. Your words strike such a chord in me. I remember living in London and being so homesick and feeling so guilty about it, because I was in such an amazing city, having such a once-in-a-lifetime experience, meeting all kinds of people, etc., and all I could do was think about home, about the country I missed, about my friends, about my family.
ReplyDeleteI talked about it openly in the newspaper articles I wrote for the Duke, which I'll definitely share with you soon. I'll email them to you.
Dr. Brannen is so wise--take her words to heart. You will be okay, even when it hurts, even when you're lonely and missing this world here on the other side of the ocean. I promise. Just know that we're thinking of you. Often.
I think you should post your snail mail address on your blog. *hint, hint*
And you say "I'm afraid that when I come back everyone will be reliving some great joke that I'm left out of. Or I'll change. Or they'll change. Or everyone will grow in different directions." The thing is, you WILL change. And so will the people here. And some people WILL grow in different directions, but that's okay. In fact, it's necessary. You're growing and changing and becoming more and more of the amazing woman that God wants you and has designed you to be. Amazing Rachel. That's you. And sometimes there's loneliness and pain and sadness with that, but those things will make the connectedness, the comfort, and the joy that much deeper.
So, in the meantime, remember this: A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
We love and miss you. Hang in there.
xoxo,
Laura