So. I love my job. And for the most part, waiting tables is fun and a great experience. I love getting to talk to people. I love when people want to joke around with you. You get to interact with really interesting people and hear their stories. I really do love that. But every once in awhile, you get the complete psychopaths. Or people who just do NOT know how to conduct themselves in a restaurant. And, worst of all, the people who do not believe in tipping.Tip your servers. For the love of God, tip your servers. If they were AWFUL, fine, okay, 10% tip. But when I say AWFUL, I mean AWFUL. Like, they forgot your order, they forgot to put in your order, they did not refill your drinks for the entire duration of your stay, they gave you attitude, they never checked in on you, they never fixed anything that went wrong, they had absolutely no desire to do a good job, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. If it wasn't awful, but nothing was spectacular? 18% minimum. Smooth sailing to great service deserves 20% and above. If you don't have the money to do so, you probably shouldn't be eating out in the first place. Harsh, but true. Also, many restaurants require their servers to tip out the bussers and the bartenders. It varies depending on the alcohol sales and the number of tables you've had, but there are many nights where my tip outs are $10 EACH. So that's $20 LESS that I'm going home with.
It's different in every state but Pennsylvania's minimum wage for servers is $2.83 an hour. Normal minimum wage is $7.25. We are supposed to make everything up in tips. If you don't tip us, we can't make a living. It sucks and I wish it wasn't that way, but it is. I do wish the system could be more like in Europe where servers get paid the equivalent of at least $10 an hour. But that's not how our system works.
I found a list of rules for proper restaurant behavior online. It was hilarious because I could relate to every single thing on that list. Probably every server in America can relate to this list. So I thought I'd post it on here with some feedback.
1. CHILDREN "THE LITTLE DEVILS":
If you have children, DO NOT let them, open and dump anything on the table (ie; salt, sugar, etc). IF YOU DO, you must leave an extra $5 for the server to clean up YOUR CHILD'S mess & to restock the now unusable wasted items. We are neither their babysitter nor their parent. The least you can do is pay us for the extra work. Also make sure you control your kids and don't let them scream or run around the restraunt. It's very distracting and rude to others eating, not to mention dangerous if they get ran over by a server with hot food in their hands.
Oh. My. God. I have NEVER once seen a parent clean up after their child in a restaurant. Or scold them for making a mess. That parent would never allow such a mess to occur in their own homes, WHY would they think it's okay in a restaurant? One time while working at Eat n Park, I was vacuuming my section. A mother came up to me, holding her son's hand, and said, "Um. He threw up," pointed to the puke-ified area, and LEFT. I am NOT getting paid $2.83 and hour to clean up vomit. No.
2. "THE CAMPERS":
If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you pay, its an extra $3 every 30 minutes. We make our money from the tables. If you are in one and we can't seat it, we don't make money. Not to mention, if you are our last table we have to wait for you to leave before we can leave.
Really, it's not a problem if you want to stay and hang out. However, you really do need to tip accordingly. Because you are still sitting in my section, you are still my responsibility. I can't ignore you, so I will keep doing my job and asking if you need anything.
Side story: The other night I had a table sit in the bar. They were my first table of the night and one of my last tables to leave. That's right, they were there for about FOUR hours. And I was waiting on them the ENTIRE time. They each had about six rounds of beer. They also ordered four appetizers because it was happy hour and they were half off. At the end of the four hours, I give them their checks. One of the checks was over $50. They left me $6. $6 for four hours, discounted food, and mostly alcohol. And I didn't do anything wrong. Trust me, servers KNOW when they've done something wrong. And servers KNOW when they were GOOD to their tables. I was GOOD with them. And like I mentioned, servers have to tip out the bartender according to alcohol sales. If you order a lot of alcohol, you have to think of it as tipping me AS WELL AS the bartender.
3. COMPLIMENTS:
Telling a server they are the best server they've ever had is not a tip. If we are good, let us know by leaving us more money. We can't pay our bills on compliments. Its not that we don't appreciate the praise, its just that if you say that and then leave 10% it's an insult.
I've had people tell me I was the best server they've ever had and not tip me at all. Nothing. Not even 10%. It happened the other week. Also, at Eat n Park, I had a table get a manager to tell her that I was great. And then they left me nothing. It's nice to hear good things about the way you do your job, but it's also just as nice to see a 30% tip.
4. THE SALVATION PAMPHLETS:
Prayer cards and any other religious pamphlet is NOT a tip. It is insulting that you assume we are without religion and must save us. Again, like ..3, we can't pay bills with prayer cards. We'd go to church on Sundays if it wasn't mandatory to work on Sundays because EVERYONE who goes to church follows it by eating out.
This has also happened to me. People have left cards saying, "I'll pray for you." I work with a girl who once was left a piece of paper that looked like a check. On it, it said, "Cash this check to get into Heaven!" or something like that. The sentiment is nice, but again...$2.83 an hour.
5. TIPPING:
It is not 1960. Cost of living has gone up dramatically since then. 18% is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers. Look at the first number of your bill (i.e. if your bill is $30, double the 3 and you have a $6 tip). If the second number is more than 5 however, you must add a dollar. Remember, our companies pay us minimum wage (minumum wage for servers is $6.75 in CA, $3.13 in FL, $3.09 in IA, $2.13 in NJ, 2.65 in MI, 2.15 in OK, $2.13 in TX). And we are taxed on 10 percent of your meal automatically anyway. So if your meal is $100 and you leave $10 and we tip out $4-5 to the busser, bartender, and whoever else then we pay tax on 10 dollars and we make $5. It seems small but it adds up. How many times do you eat out per week and do this?
6. THE COMPLAINERS:
If you get a discount because your food was prepared wrong or something, do not take it out of our tip. We didn't cook it. The cooks get paid hourly regardless if the food sucks. However, we only make what you give us.
Never take it out on your server unless you had an AWFUL server. Just because they're the ones you see doesn't make it okay to take out your anger on them. If you have a problem with the food, ask to speak to the manager so that they can let the kitchen staff know they made a mistake. This would happen at Eat n Park all the time. It became very apparent that people were making up things that were wrong with the food so they could get a free meal or get out of tipping.
7. THE FREE STUFF:
If you happen to get anything for free and you did not have a problem with your dining experience, most of the time it is because the server thinks you will realize that they are giving it to you for free. There should be extra tip thanking the server for the free item. They could get in a lot of trouble giving away free stuff. You should give them hazard pay for it.
This one I don't have much of a problem with. Sometimes I give people free drinks or free coffee at the end of their meal. I give people free guacamole all the time and it's pretty expensive. But I never expect recognition for it. I DO, however, firmly believe in coupon tipping etiquette. If you have a coupon or you happened into any sort of special, you MUST tip according to the pre-discounted price. Like, the half off happy hour appetizers? Tip as though they were full price. At Amigos, we have this coupon circulating that's Buy One Entree, Get One Free! It's killing everyone's tips. Suddenly a $25 check is $13. A $5 tip goes to $2.60. It doesn't seem like much, but if it keeps happening, the difference adds up. Just because the price is less doesn't mean we did less work.
8. THE LATE ONES:
If you come into the restaurant 10 minutes before closing or any time near closing hurry up and order your food and get out. Closed means closed, not social hour. It is so rude to sit there and take your sweet ass time. We can't leave until you leave because we have to do sidework and clean the table you are sitting at. We don't want to stand there waiting for you for an extra hour just because you don't want to go home. We recommend 24 hour establishments such as Denny's if you wish to sit into the wee hours of the night.
This also causes a lot of tension between the servers and the kitchen staff. They blame us for you ordering food. Chances are the kitchen staff has been gradually doing their closing sidework so they can leave as close to closing time as possible.
9. THE TABLE HOGGERS:
If you only come in for coffee or a dessert, to do paper work, or to have a meeting, don't sit there taking up our booths for hours. We are not Starbucks or a hotel restaurant. If you want to sit for hours, go there or else you better leave a good tip for us and camping fee included.
10. THE GREET:
When we come up to the table to greet you and we ask how you are doing, please let us know. We honestly want to know how you are doing. And ask us how we are doing as well. It's called manners. If you are in a bad mood we want to know that from the beginning. A confused stare or complete silence does not suffice as a reply to "How are you doing?" Also most of us are REQUIRED to say certain things during the greeting, so please don't interrupt our greeting and say "I want coffee", "Can we get some bread?", or "What are the soups?" Just sit tight for a goddamn minute & let us talk. You're not helping us out and saving us time by stopping our greet, you are pissing us off.
Also, many restaurants require you to suggest a drink by name. I'll often ask my tables, "Can I get you guys started off with a Coke or iced tea?" Some people respond to that with a flat out, "No." and nothing else. No elaboration on what they would like to drink instead. Well, now, that's awkward. And "Coffee" is NOT the correct response to, "Hey, how are you?" How would you feel if I came up to your table and said, "What do you want," as if you were the biggest annoyance in the world. Treat your servers the way YOU would want to be treated.
11. THOSE DAMN CELL PHONES:
Don't ever talk on your cell phone in a restaurant. This is probably the rudest thing to do. If you must be on your cell, at least keep your voice down in respect for other customers. If you are on your cell phone when we walk up to greet your table we will walk away and not return until you get off your phone. Just show some respect and give us your attention for a couple of minutes.
I waited on a guy on his cell phone at Eat n Park. Rather than saying, "Hey, hold on for a second, I need to order." and putting his phone down, he pointed at a burger on the menu and waved me away. When the burger came, he was finally off of his phone. But then he said, "But I didn't want onions. And I wanted it medium well. And I want this and this and this and this." Well, sir. You pointed to something and shoo'ed me away. Suddenly it's my fault that you did not take time out from your phone conversation to modify your order.
12. THE PICKY PEOPLE:
When you're taken to a table, sit there. There's a reason you were taken to that table and it's because that server is next on the rotation. If you prefer a certain table, section, window seat etc. specify that to the host/hostess BEFORE they walk you to your table!! Don't wait till they get to the VERY back of the restaraunt then ask "can we have a booth?" "Can we sit by the window?" No! The reason you weren't sat by the window or in a booth is most likely because the server by the window or the server with the booths just got sat and you will receive better service if you stay put. If you ask BEFOREHAND the hostess has time to sit you accordingly. They have time to find you a table where you will be happy to sit AND receive good service!
Getting double/triple/quadruple sat is the worst thing that could happen to a server and is the biggest way to throw them off of their groove. And people who switch sections make this happen.
13. THE WAVERS:
If you wave at me or try to talk to me while I am talking to another table or have a huge tray in my hand, I WILL ignore you. We have other people besides you to take care of and unless we are standing still or hanging out by a computer, we are doing something. It is rude to think we will stop what we are doing for one table just to come help you. Let me put this heavy ass tray down in the middle of the dining room to find out you want more sauce. Do not grab me, or wave, or shake your glass, or call me ma'am or waiter or any other pet-name you want to call me because you were on your cell, or talking, or interrupted my initial greet where I told you my goddamn name!
If the restaurant is busy, it's a pretty safe bet that you are not your server's only table. If your server is good, they will make you feel like you're their only table, but absolutely do not assume this is true. Along the name lines, if you would LEARN your server's name or at least LOOK at them, you won't confuse them for other servers in the restaurant. I've often been grabbed by tables who aren't mine asking for the check. When I respond, "Sure, I'll find your server for you," they get this horrified look and say, "You're not her?" "No, what's her name?" "...I don't know." That's helpful.
Moral of the story, respect your servers. Remember they are somebody's son or daughter. Treat them well. If they're like me, they enjoy being a part of your life for that hour or so.
